IMPORTANT NEWS FLASH. THIS JUST IN:
Mary Kelly has been abducted by a rebel faction of Greenbergian formalists, and is currently MIA. An unmarked black sedan intercepted her while on her way to her office at UCLA, just after being dropped off by her husband early this morning, witnesses say. “Yes, I’m sure it was her…I saw the hair” one student said, still in shock after hearing that her Lacan seminar had been cancelled for the day. Previous reports suspected that conference proceedings may be interrupted by such traditionalists, but authorities had expected the disruption to occur at the Convention Center. The incident at the Broad Center has artists and art historians alike in a tizzy.
But, in all seriousness folks, the Mary Kelly lecture scheduled for tonight HAS BEEN CANCELLED. The Hammer will have a lovely open house instead. Stay tuned for further details.
If you spot a black car that fits the description above, and has the license plate SFFRJET, please notify the authorities immediately.
